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Plans

I’m a planner.  A list-maker.  A goal-setter.

There is nothing that upsets me more than writing down a plan, and then watching it unfold in a different way than I intended.  Fortunately, for my sanity, there is a quote that I repeat to myself every time I find myself in this situation (which is…a lot.)

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”  

It has always been of the upmost importance to me to know what my purpose is in life- what I’ve been put here to do.  I have struggled for years to figure it out.  As I discovered the nursing profession and learned more about it, I felt this unexplainable draw to become a nurse.  Some people would say it’s a “calling”.  I made the decision to pursue nursing during my junior year of college, when I was about 20-years-old.

I am now 23, and I feel like I’ve been crawling at a snail’s pace towards my ultimate goal for my career.  I have sat down probably over 10 times in the passed 3 years and made 12-month plans, 2-year plans, 5-year plans, 10-year plans…only to tear them up and start over a few months later.  I’ve encountered many setbacks that have tacked time onto my plans, and each time it happens, I feel more and more defeated.

I gave up a lot to pursue my goal.  For starters, I haven’t been able to work a “real” job for the last 5 months, and Corey has been working his butt off trying to support both of us.  Obviously, this makes me feel extremely guilty, and has added a lot of stress on both of us.  Thankfully, he is more than supportive of me going after what I want- I literally would not be able to do this if it weren’t for him.

Yesterday, I turned in my completed application packet to the nursing school that I have been planning to attend.  The program is a one-year, accelerated Bachelor’s of Science in Nursing degree- and it comes with a hefty price tag.  So hefty, in fact, that I would have to take out several large student loans to cover the costs- something that I am fortunate to have never had to do for my first degree (thank you, parents!).  As soon as I walked in the doors, I had a bad feeling.  Then, literally a few hours after turning it in, I discovered that the school doesn’t have the accreditation necessary for me to go on to get my Master’s at a different school.  This is a deal-breaker.

So, where does that leave me?

Well, for starters, I am really upset.  I have been overjoyed about the fact that I would be starting nursing school in just a few short months, and that I would finally be finished, working in the field that I want, in just a year.  Now, all of that is gone, and I feel like I’m back to square one.

However, I have learned a few things through all of this.  First, even though I feel like I’m too old to still be in school and not already have a career going, I’m not.  I’m only 23.  I repeat this to myself: You are not old, you weirdo.  It helps.  People change careers at 40 and 50-years-old!  Second, even though I have encountered more setbacks than I would have liked, I still want this- and so far, I have yet to see any signs that I am making the wrong decision.  In fact, with each month that passes and each class that I take, I am more and more sure that I am making the right decision for my life.

So, the new plan is this:  I will be, God-willing, re-joining the good ol’ workforce.  This means I have to start the dreaded and draining job search again, something I have not missed in the last few months.  I am hoping to find a job in a hospital, perhaps in administration.  I will work for the next 8 months, saving money for school.  Then, come January of 2012, I will *fingers crossed* start a nursing program that will result in an RN license by October of 2013, and a Bachelor’s degree by April 2013.

Is this ideal?  Not really.  I wish I could just snap my fingers and get what I want, but, life is a lot harder than that.  I am trusting that God has reasons for everything that has happened to this point, and that He is leading me in the right direction.

What I do know for sure is that, one way or another, I am going to be a nurse.

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By the way, HAPPY NURSE APPRECIATION WEEK to all you nurses out there!  

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Comments on: "Plans" (8)

  1. Oh man, do I hear you 110%!!! I feel the exact same way. I took a job after graduating as basically a glorified receptionist and worked there for a MISERABLE 18 months only to be pulled aside one day and be told that my position had been eliminated. And, this was literally TWO days after being rejected from graduate school at Columbia that I wanted so, so bad! I’ve been unemployed for nearly two months now and am trying so hard to trust God with the details. He has our best interests at heart and will NOT let us slip through the cracks! Whatever we think is ‘right’ for us may not always be His plan. He can see the big picture and protect us from things that we cannot see coming, but He can. I am starting to think He was protecting me from incurring $80,000 in student loans for a 10-month program, that’s why I didn’t get into Columbia. Whatever the case, we have to trust Him and know that whatever He has for us is the RIGHT job, plan, or place! BAH… it’s hard I know, but know that you’re NOT alone at all!

    • It definitely helps to hear that I’m not the only one! You’re completely right- I know He is looking out for us- our plan is almost always different from His plan. I hope that you will find the perfect job soon!

  2. WOW that is such a bummer. BUT, I love love love how you are handing it! When life knocks you down just get up and try again!!! And the saying that came to my mind is “If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans”. Honey, don’t be disheartened. you WILL be a nurse and a damn good one. And you will NOT be OLD by the time that happens. Each set back makes you more convicted and stronger. I will pray for a job in a hospital to be available!!! I love you so so much. : )

  3. I’m so glad that you wrote this post, and I’m pretty sure you are writing about my life. I graduated in May 2008 with a BA degree in graphic design…never found a job…so I ended up working retail full-time. After a couple years of soul searching, I also decided that my true calling was to be a NURSE! I’ve now gone back to school and I feel really silly sometimes being in classes with eighteen and nineteen year olds. I feel like I am too old to be there. My husband is also the only one with a “real” job, and because I made this decision we are living in a tiny duplex like college kids again. He is so supportive, but I know that it is hard on him.
    I know that I am meant to be a nurse, I just keep kicking myself in the gooloo for not figuring this out the first time around. But I suppose this is how God wanted it to be, so I’m trying to keep my head up and push through!
    Good luck Carly…you are doing the right thing!

    • Ohh my gosh, that is so awesome that you’re doing the same thing! I LOVE hearing from people that are going to nursing school- it really helps me to see that I’m not alone in this struggle! I know how you feel about your classes, and everything else, for that matter. But I think we are BOTH doing the right thing- it will be SO worth it in the end!

  4. I know exactly what you’re going through!! I’ve changed my major three times and finally started at a school where I could finish my bachelor’s in Interior Design in about a year and a half since I had all my general education done. WELL, half a year and $8000 in student loans later, I found out because of the accreditation (still accredited just different than universities) I couldn’t get my bachelor’s there and go on to get my masters in Architecture. By the time I figured this out, I missed the deadline to apply to other schools and now I’m pushed back another year and hopefully will be starting somewhere next fall. I’m only 21, but when all my friends are graduating this month, and I still have another 2-3 years before getting a bachelor’s it’s a bit irritating. Like you I’m a huge planner, and I have to just keep thinking everything happens for a reason and everything will work out in the end! Good luck Carly!

    • Ugh, that is really terrible about the accreditation- I think it is unethical that they don’t make these things completely clear before we fork over tons of money. Deadlines are becoming the death of me- it seems like I miss them by a few weeks every time I change my plan. But, like you said- you’re only 21- I know it makes it hard when you see your friends graduating and, seemingly, doing what they’re “supposed” to do, but the best thing I’ve learned since I graduated is that NO ONE our age knows what the heck they want! I can’t name any of my friends that have a job that I would consider to be ideal. This is all just part of growing up. You will get to your goal in due time!

  5. […] to my recent change of plans for school, Corey and I, along with our families, decided that it would be smarter to have our […]

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